Today at work on the oncology unit...
a little old lady broke my heart.
She had been in an immense amount of pain all day long.
The kind where she just ached with the slightest movements.
But it was time for her to go downstairs for an xray and we had to move her from her bed onto a cot.
She had some visitors, maybe 5 or 6 of her friends. They were all talking up a storm and chatting away to each other since that's what visitors do.
The room suddenly became busy with the task we were trying to accomplish and maybe 3 other staff memebers were in the room, busy figuring out where to put the cart, move the IV, and the like.
The room was loud and full of people.
It was busy with everyday toils and troubles.
But in the middle of this commotion she gently reached up and touched my arm and softly said "would you just tell Jesus to come and take me already?"
Tears welled up in my eyes and my heart sank.
No one else in that caotic room heard her but me.
...Days like this make me sob on the drive home.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Truly an Honor
My very best friend got married this weekend and it was a pretty big deal for me. We've been through a lot together and what a huge milestone to be there for. I was her maid of honor, which is so special because I'm pretty sure we made a promise to each other in jr. high that we'd be each other maids of honor. And when I started thinking about...it truly is an honor (maybe that's why they call it that.) So I decided to share the speech I gave at the reception just because 1) I thought it was a pretty good speech if I do say so myself and 2) to show just how good of friends we've been.
"Lindsey and I met in Kindergarden, but our relationship started to actually developed in 2nd grade. We had our desks right beside one another and we called each other our "study buddies." Lindsey got sick for awhile and had to be in the hospital for quite sometime and it wasn't until then that I really started to miss her for some reason. I cried one day in the middle of class because I missed her so much so I was sent to the counselor's office to "talk about it." The counselor came up with an idea to help me not miss her as much and so she traced me on some posterboard and I cut it out and decorated it as if it were Lindsey. I called that my "Fake Lindsey" and sat it in the desk right next to me until she came back to school. In 4th grade, Lindsey and I figured out a way to help each other cheat on our pop quizzes. And in Jr. High she was the friend I could rely on to always tell boys when I liked them and if they liked me back. In High School, I don't know if there was ever a single class we were actually allowed to sit by each other in because we always got in trouble for talking too much. We've never missed one another's birthday. One year, Lindsey actually waited to have her own birthday party just so I could come to it. I've spent more nights at her house than I have my own, and I'm pretty sure my parents owe her parents money for the groceries I've ate. When it came time to go to college, we sadly had to go to different schools. But, there were definitely phone calls to help ease the difficult transition. We've even made the long drive a couple time just to cry to each other when things are hard and we still make lunch dates just to catch up.
I share all these small details about Lindsey and I's relationship for a couple of reasons. Mainly, it's because I just don't want to share her.
But she's an amazing person who could help you out with whatever you need. You can trust her with anything, whether it be a secret or a big decision and....she'll never leave your side."
As you can see, Lindsey means a whole lot to me and I love that God gives us friends like this that just aren't there for the big day, but everything that leads up to it and all the rest that follows.
meg
"Lindsey and I met in Kindergarden, but our relationship started to actually developed in 2nd grade. We had our desks right beside one another and we called each other our "study buddies." Lindsey got sick for awhile and had to be in the hospital for quite sometime and it wasn't until then that I really started to miss her for some reason. I cried one day in the middle of class because I missed her so much so I was sent to the counselor's office to "talk about it." The counselor came up with an idea to help me not miss her as much and so she traced me on some posterboard and I cut it out and decorated it as if it were Lindsey. I called that my "Fake Lindsey" and sat it in the desk right next to me until she came back to school. In 4th grade, Lindsey and I figured out a way to help each other cheat on our pop quizzes. And in Jr. High she was the friend I could rely on to always tell boys when I liked them and if they liked me back. In High School, I don't know if there was ever a single class we were actually allowed to sit by each other in because we always got in trouble for talking too much. We've never missed one another's birthday. One year, Lindsey actually waited to have her own birthday party just so I could come to it. I've spent more nights at her house than I have my own, and I'm pretty sure my parents owe her parents money for the groceries I've ate. When it came time to go to college, we sadly had to go to different schools. But, there were definitely phone calls to help ease the difficult transition. We've even made the long drive a couple time just to cry to each other when things are hard and we still make lunch dates just to catch up.
I share all these small details about Lindsey and I's relationship for a couple of reasons. Mainly, it's because I just don't want to share her.
But she's an amazing person who could help you out with whatever you need. You can trust her with anything, whether it be a secret or a big decision and....she'll never leave your side."
As you can see, Lindsey means a whole lot to me and I love that God gives us friends like this that just aren't there for the big day, but everything that leads up to it and all the rest that follows.
meg
Monday, August 3, 2009
Wrestling for Peace
Today I feel peace.
...and i'm not really sure why. But it feels fantastic.
Actually it's because someone told me the truth yesterday. That:
"The wrestling is all a part of it"
This kind of truth no one has ever really spoken to me before. Not my parents. Not any past experiences. Not even Disney or those silly romantic comedies.
Why has no one spread this truth around?? Better yet, what's the lie I've believed for 21 years! That the wrestling is uncalled for or some kind of sign that something is very wrong here.
The wrestling seems to be what makes it all worth it. And I feel at peace with that.
Here's a quote that I came across as well:
"Part of the beauty of life is the reirth of peace following turmoil and pain" -Lee Ann Hoff
So I guess if I just expect times to wrestle the rest of my life...then they'll be times of peace to follow.
meg
...and i'm not really sure why. But it feels fantastic.
Actually it's because someone told me the truth yesterday. That:
"The wrestling is all a part of it"
This kind of truth no one has ever really spoken to me before. Not my parents. Not any past experiences. Not even Disney or those silly romantic comedies.
Why has no one spread this truth around?? Better yet, what's the lie I've believed for 21 years! That the wrestling is uncalled for or some kind of sign that something is very wrong here.
The wrestling seems to be what makes it all worth it. And I feel at peace with that.
Here's a quote that I came across as well:
"Part of the beauty of life is the reirth of peace following turmoil and pain" -Lee Ann Hoff
So I guess if I just expect times to wrestle the rest of my life...then they'll be times of peace to follow.
meg
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