I was thinking of writing about how I've been worried about a lot of stuff lately...Finding a job, taking a really big test, money, where to live, blah blah blah...

But maybe I'll just adopt this little girl's attitude and let the rest work itself out.

Jessica's "Daily Affirmation"

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting

your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,

for your dreams,

for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me whether things seem to be going your way.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow,

If you have been opened by life's betrayals

or have become shriveled and closed from further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,

if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips

of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be

realistic, to remember the

limitations of being human.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty every

day and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand

on the edge of the lake and

shout to the silver moon, "Yes!"

It does not interest me to know where you live

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,

weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the

fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what

or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside

when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like

the company you keep in the empty moments.

-Anonymous

Oncology Lessons

To the Oncology Unit on 5 East -

I didn't pick you, instead you picked me.

I didn't really care where I worked, I just wanted my 'foot in the door.'

You took me in, as a little one wanting to learn.

I had no idea all the things you would teach me.

You never treated me as just a "student" or a "tech" to do all your dirty work.

Instead, you worked with me...knowing I was your future.

You taught me the tricks of the trade.

You gave me jobs you knew I could do, but I myself had little confidence.

I remember when the IV pumps scared me and I had no idea how to talk to patients.

But it was you, who held my hand and watched me grow.

I want to grow up and be like everyone of you. You laugh and you cry. You get so stressed you want to pull your hair out. You hold patients hands when they are scared. And you ask if there is anything at all you can do for them...whether its just a backrub or an extra blanket. When patients are confused you say "I'm here to help you" and when family members are crying you give them hugs to help ease the pain.

I've watched you face the harsh realities of life ending. The hard, hard work it takes to care for those experiencing it...and the loved ones on the sidelines watching. Cancer is indeed a journey, and all of you know that your place is to be there through every step.

All of these things I could've never learned in the classroom or from a textbook. And for that, I'm all the more grateful I had you to watch. You treated me like your own. We are indeed a family. You listened to my accomplishments and failures, my worries and stress, my relationship troubles and my dreams for the future.

And when people tell me someday that 'I'm a great nurse'....it's to YOU I'll give all the credit.

-meg

That Bridge

I prayed for you standing on this bridge.

The man who brought me here told me it was famous to all the locals.

"This time of year the people come to watch the tide," he told me.

"The time when the moon is positioned just right, it brings the water all the way to the very edge of the bridge."

"It's remarkable," he said in broken English. "Nothing anything like it."

The cool Spring evening was peaceful and silent and the wind blew so softly, creating only slight ripples in the water.

I looked off that bridge and thought of you...wishing you were standing right beside me. The view was breathtaking.

You would whisper sweet nothings into my ear, maybe even stroke my hair and place your hand ever so gently on my shoulder, giving me all the affection I've ever ached for.

Then I looked up into the dark black sky and remembered that we were on opposite sides of the world for the time being.

And although the dark sky reminded me of bedtime, you were watching the sunrise.

We were so far away...6,824 miles to be exact.

So I prayed for you instead.

I prayed for our love and maybe one day it too will rise all the way to the top of a bridge.

Hell, maybe the locals will even come to watch.

And when the moon is in just the right spot...I pray there's no one else but you.

Dreaming of Dandelions

Some may think of dandelions as pesky little weeds. Others may see them as a sign of Spring. Gardeners think they're annoying. I think they're lovely.

If its just the right day, you can catch yourself witnessing the wind blowing those pretty little seeds and carry them as if they had tiny parachutes; taking them to a place other than where they grew. It's all part of the pollination process I guess, but really what you're seeing on that perfect day is the time where the dandelion seeds keep moving in order to keep on growing. I'm sure the journey is scary for them, but they trust the wind and pray for fertile ground.

And that's what I'd like to think I'm doing.

Whether the wind takes me to Dallas, St. Louis, Muncie, Nashville, or even China... I'll take what my grandmother told me to heart...

"Whatever you do...just keep moving"

meg

"Another world is not only possible,

she is on her way.

On a quiet day,

...I can hear her breathing."