He called the nurse's station and asked for a nurse to come quick.
I looked around and no one was around to hear the request but me.
I knew she had been in bad shape.
Of course someone has to go check on her besides me. What if...
Hello? Anybody around? No?? Just me?? Ok, I guess I'll see if I can stall...
"We think she's stopped breathing. Has she?"
What? You're asking me? I'm just a student. There's no way I could possibly know that.
Wait yes there is...that's why I have this stethoscope around my neck.
But I can't tell if she's stopped breathing or not. Yes I can I'm 6 months from graduation. Anyone off the street could figure this out.
Ok just listen. I know what I'm doing.
Wait. I don't think I hear anything. They're all starring at me as if I'm supposed to tell them that.
The husband has tears in his eyes, the son is crouching over her face, the daughter is holding her hand...I can't tell them this. There's no way I have the credentials to determine if a person is still living or not.
Surely someone else has to be on their way. I can't possibly determine this alone.
Yes I can, listen for a heart sound.
But I can't remember where you would even hear a heart sound.
Yes, I do. Little children know what a heart sounds like through a stethoscope. Ok.
Wait..is that her heart? Is it still beating?? No. That's my own pounding through my head. Just calm down.
Feel for a pulse. Yeah that'll tell them the truth.
Wait..is that a pulse? No that's mine I can feel along with the sweat starting to form on my forehead.
I can't tell them she's dead. They are all starring at me. I have to.
I have to say it. They don't even speak English though.
That doesn't matter. Just a simple head nod will give them the sign.
IS ANYONE ELSE COMING YET????? DON'T MAKE ME SAY THIS!!
"I think...I think she's gone."
I looked around and no one was around to hear the request but me.
I knew she had been in bad shape.
Of course someone has to go check on her besides me. What if...
Hello? Anybody around? No?? Just me?? Ok, I guess I'll see if I can stall...
"We think she's stopped breathing. Has she?"
What? You're asking me? I'm just a student. There's no way I could possibly know that.
Wait yes there is...that's why I have this stethoscope around my neck.
But I can't tell if she's stopped breathing or not. Yes I can I'm 6 months from graduation. Anyone off the street could figure this out.
Ok just listen. I know what I'm doing.
Wait. I don't think I hear anything. They're all starring at me as if I'm supposed to tell them that.
The husband has tears in his eyes, the son is crouching over her face, the daughter is holding her hand...I can't tell them this. There's no way I have the credentials to determine if a person is still living or not.
Surely someone else has to be on their way. I can't possibly determine this alone.
Yes I can, listen for a heart sound.
But I can't remember where you would even hear a heart sound.
Yes, I do. Little children know what a heart sounds like through a stethoscope. Ok.
Wait..is that her heart? Is it still beating?? No. That's my own pounding through my head. Just calm down.
Feel for a pulse. Yeah that'll tell them the truth.
Wait..is that a pulse? No that's mine I can feel along with the sweat starting to form on my forehead.
I can't tell them she's dead. They are all starring at me. I have to.
I have to say it. They don't even speak English though.
That doesn't matter. Just a simple head nod will give them the sign.
IS ANYONE ELSE COMING YET????? DON'T MAKE ME SAY THIS!!
"I think...I think she's gone."
Hi Meg! [I found you! :)]
ReplyDeleteThis post just gave me chills! I remember the first time I had to tell someone that their loved was gone and it was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. In my experience, it doesn't get any easier for me. Maybe others would say differently, but I would say it's just as hard as the first time. You're going to make a great nurse! Can't wait to see you soon!